Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Once upon A Time

It was a warm and mellow midsummer's evening in a cosy street side cafe.

The setting sun diffused through the hanging wooden trellises, blessing the interior of the cafe with a pale-gold radiance. The sensuous tones of Linda Ronstadt's voice infused the tepid evening with a sultry touch, tenderly caressing the souls of all who listened. The rich, voluptous scents of chocolate, cafe au lait and French vanilla lingered in the air, an ambrosia that warmed the heart.

The girl's slender frame was wrapped by a dark, burgundy tube top that revealed her delicate shoulders and porcelein collar-bones. She wore a fragrance that painted a picture, in the mind's eye, of ripe nectarines in springtime. She sipped slowly from an emerald-green glass; leaving just the faintest hint of rouge at the lip of the glass. A lively smile and a light touch of foundation gave the girl's demure countenance a vibrant sparkle.

The boy had taken great pains to scrub the dandruff away from his somewhat dry hair(while whining about the quality of his conditioner). Unlike the girl, he had chosen a fragrance that was meant to project an image of masculine power and dominance. Sadly, the fragrance reacted badly with his own perspiration and he ended up smelling like an expired fisherman's friend. Thankfully, he had salvaged the situation by slathering a liberal amount of Gilette aftershave. The boy was dressed in a white shirt with three ketchup stains.

The girl looked at the boy with her soft, inviting eyes. She held his hand and softly whispered, "propose to me." The girl's tone was full of yearning, yet with a strand of steely determination.

The boy's eyes betrayed just a hint of the conflict within his troubled heart.

He was torn between the sweetest girl in the world, who was clasping his hand and looking into his eyes, and the hotter, bustier girl who was smoking at the opposite table and cursing her late friend.

The boy was lost for words.

A moment of folly seized the boy and caused him to exclaim, "It's just a joke right? Hahaha!"

And then the boy realised that the girl was not laughing with him. Instead, she looked a bit sad.

And at that moment the boy realised how much the girl meant to him. The boy realised how foolish he was all this time; when he used work to fill his emotional vacuum...when the only thing in the world that could fill the crippling emptiness within him...was love.

The boy wanted to throw down everything he had and run away with the girl. The boy wanted to take care of her, to listen to her problems, to give her a shoulder to cry on, to carry her shopping bags, to drive her around town, to lie down and watch the stars with her.

The boy wanted to love her.

And so the boy held the girl's hand, and said, "I can't afford a real ring now, so here's an imaginary diamond ring...but I want you to know that what I feel for you is far from imaginary."

And as the boy tenderly placed the symbol of his affection on the girl's fingers...

"BURGERS AND FRIES! WHO'S HAVING THE BURGERS AND FRIES?"

Burgers and fries!? What the $%^ was happening?

The boy turned to face a flabby waiter who stank of mouldy cheese and overboiled cauliflowers.

The corpulent sh*tface had ruined the moment!

and the worst thing was, neither the boy nor the girl ordered burgers and fries. It was the hot, busty chick from the opposite table; who was still cursing her late friend.

It was too late. The boy was no longer in the mood for sappy proposals. Despite the girl's desperate plea for a kiss, the boy sulked and grumbled...his mind drifting to the pile of legal theory readings that was waiting for him at home.

The bill was quickly settled. As usual, the girl paid.

The boy marched out of the cafe with a bitter scowl, devising one thousand and one punishments for the villain of the moment, the blur waiter.

The girl struggled to keep up with her heels, but was just too slow.

They parted at the crowded train station.

The boy did not even look at the girl when he said goodbye.

Postscript: This actually happened to...erm...a friend of mine. I absolutely emphatise with him and share his loathing towards the dumbass waiter. At the same time, I wish my friend all the best for his legal theory readings and the upcoming crim law project.

I also think my friend is a sexy beast*.

*I am straight though.

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